I Am a Pretty Pretty Princess

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May 3rd, 2009


06:12 pm - Astrology and such

TAURUS For the Week of May 4th, 2009 -- If you're looking for love, don't play it safe this weekend. The Moon is moving through the partnership houses of your chart and sexy Venus and Mars in Aries are pushing you to take chances. Stretching your boundaries, at least a little bit, can make the difference between sitting on the sidelines and getting into the game.

General Weekly Love Horoscope
Chatty Mercury's retrograde turn this week can complicate conversations, confuse connections and rattle relationships. What you hear isn't necessarily what you'll get and what you say can be easily misconstrued. Double check dates, times and other details to avoid creating petty problems that could undermine trust and put romance out of the picture.

Cut for her pleasure. )

In other news, didn't find a new Thoth deck at Border's. A bit grumpy about this.


Current Location: 21740
Current Mood: [mood icon] cynical
Current Music: G in the library with a curtain rod

(3 bitches. | Bitch, Please)

April 30th, 2009


10:24 am - Tweets, and a tiny bit of astrology

Mercury goes retrograde May 6, returns direct May 30. That is all we need to say about that.

Tweets for yesterday. chirp )


You Are a Pineapple Smoothie
You are adventurous and brave. You aren't afraid of much. You are in love with new experiences. You are usually the first to try something.

You get bored rather easily, and you need to be challenged in life. You are turbo charged. Most people find it impossible to keep up with you in any capacity.

A pineapple smoothie sounds lovely. Perhaps I will have one for lunch.


Current Location: 20852
Current Mood: overcaffeinated

(Bitch, Please)

March 20th, 2009


09:19 am - Horror-Scopes

Astrology.com says: Someone new in your life is making you rethink quite a bit of your preconceptions -- and you think you like where you're headed! It's time for you to flip the switch and make a big change.

Jonathan Cainer says: According to the atheists, there is no God. They must be right - for, if there were, why would he allow atheists to exist? Unless, of course, God had a secret plan. Populate the world with cynics and disbelievers and we would all find their company so irritating that we would rapidly start seeking spiritual solace. It is a tenuous argument, I know. But then, so too, are many of the explanations now being advanced to support a debatable proposition in your world. Don't engage in a futile battle. Just trust what you feel.

Rob Brezsny says: Among medieval alchemists, there were some who tried to make a fortune by literally converting lead into gold. But the authentic practitioners of the art were interested in a subtler kind of experimentation: ripening and beautifying the shadowy aspects of their own psyches. That explains their motto: "For a tree's branches to reach to heaven, its roots must reach to hell." Among other things, that means you have to dig deep and work hard on redeeming your less flattering qualities in order to earn the right to exalted states of consciousness and spiritual powers. The coming weeks will be an excellent time for you to carry out this alchemy.

As usual, I say, WTF. I don't feel like I am being asked to rethink anything. I don't think I am engaging in any battles, futile or otherwise. I had a yummy dinner last night and I may never eat again, however.

Now, to my "to do" list!


Current Location: 20852
Current Mood: [mood icon] chipper

(Bitch, Please)

March 3rd, 2009


09:26 am - Horror-Scope + Twitter

You were looking for content? )

Current Location: 20852
Current Mood: [mood icon] blah

(2 bitches. | Bitch, Please)

February 24th, 2009


11:07 am - Horror-Scopes!

Astrology.com sez: Your friends are waiting for something from you and even if you don't know what's up you still need to perform. It's one of those days when you're at the center of your social circle.

Jonathan Cainer sez: We live in a very sensible world. It is governed by very sensible authorities, upholding very sensible rules. Hence, the credit crunch. The banking crisis. The Madoff scandal. The Stanford mystery. And all the other chaos now unfolding in the realm of the rich, influential and respectable. It has long since been no secret that if you scratch the surface of the establishment, you will find plenty of corruption beneath. Comet Lu Lin, is now exposing an awkward truth in your world. But it is also helping you face an essential fact.

Freewill Astrology sez: I know where actor Sean Penn lives. It's a few miles from where I am right now. An out-of-town friend of mine who's an aspiring screenwriter is pleading with me to drive by Sean's house and hurl a hard copy of her latest script over the high wall that affords him and his family privacy. My friend imagines that Sean will find it, read it excitedly, and call her up to begin negotiating for rights to use it in a future film. I may do what she asks. It's my policy not to discourage people's fantasies about making the connections they need, even if they're far-fetched. In that spirit, Taurus, I urge you to pursue any hunches you might have about forging alliances that could further your dreams.

Um... yeah. I got nothin. Y'all got any clues?


Current Location: 20852
Current Mood: [mood icon] curious

(2 bitches. | Bitch, Please)

February 10th, 2009


09:15 am - Update

Tweets for Monday 9 February 2009. Read more... )

Dear Taurus, Here is your horoscope for Tuesday, February 10: Read more... )


Current Location: 20852
Current Mood: [mood icon] chipper
Current Music: construction outside

(Bitch, Please)

February 3rd, 2009


09:29 am - WTF Astrology

Dear Taurus, Here is your horoscope for Tuesday, February 3:
You're not quite yourself today and that could mean that your friends are getting worried. Try to reassure them that it's just a short-lived phase, but if you've got to endure an intervention, so be it.

Er... my tummy is upset from all the crap I ate this weekend. I regret nothing! Nothing, I tell you!

Cut for Weekend Twittering. )


Current Location: 20852
Current Mood: [mood icon] sick
Current Music: keyboards all around

(Bitch, Please)

January 26th, 2009


09:27 am - Today's horror-scope

Someone is trying to get your goat, most likely just for their own amusement -- but there may be other motives as well. Do your best to keep your cool and things should get better pretty soon.

But... I have NO goat! Hell, I don't even have cabana boys. Woe, woe is me!


Current Location: 20852
Current Mood: [mood icon] amused

(Bitch, Please)

January 16th, 2009


09:16 am - Funnay horrorscope

Today's Taurus horoscope sez: You might be biting off more than you can chew* -- but even knowing that, you might still go for it! You just can't resist the allure of getting more than usual for little to no effort.** Wait and see.***

*Yeah, that would be unusual... NOT.
**WHAT? When will this happen?
***Tell the Gemini cusp girl to wait. Very funny, astrology.com.


Current Location: 20852
Current Mood: [mood icon] sarcastic, me?

(Bitch, Please)

January 9th, 2009


11:14 am - Today, Jonathan Cainer sez

Taurus for Friday, 9 January: The truth. It has never been very fashionable. People just don't want to hear it. Unfortunately, they think they do. They say they do. They revere it, they look for the truth, they even sing about it. It's just that when they actually encounter it, they don't like it. Fantasies are far more attractive and reassuring. Half-truths are popular too. When watered down and sweetened, lots more people find honesty acceptable. The big question for you, this weekend, is how close to a reality are you prepared to get? There's a Solar eclipse on due on 26th January. Be ready for this life changing astrological alignment.


Current Location: 20852

(Bitch, Please)

December 19th, 2008


01:11 pm - Washington Post, I don't get it

Taurus April 20 - May 20

For Friday, December 19 -A great bolt of positive energy is coming into your life this morning [yeah, I woke up breathing okay!], and it's going to turn your daily routine from dull and boring to something much more exciting. The patterns of your life are no longer predictable -- they are starting to come together to form a very interesting picture, full of new opportunities that you didn't think would be coming up for a long time. Are you ready to grab that big brass ring? Because you are about to have a great chance to do so today.

[If I grab too hard, I think that nice man might scream like a little girl. And that would be sad.]


(Bitch, Please)

November 24th, 2008


11:21 am - Jonathan Cainer, bite me

Taurus horoscope for Monday, 24 November

Pots love to call kettles black. Cheats love to question the integrity of honest people. Liars accuse others of twisting the truth. Not only do folk project their own faults onto others, but they also develop them in the first place through bad example. Thus, bullies are usually people who were victims of bullying; and abusers, in their past, have been abused. In life, the lines of distinction are not always as clear cut as we might wish them to be. What lesson might a current problem be trying to help you learn? Don't be harsh this week. Be wise.


Current Location: 20852
Current Mood: [mood icon] blah

(Bitch, Please)

October 30th, 2008


03:41 pm - Rob Brezsny sez...

You don't have to be anything you don't want to be, Taurus. Please read that last sentence again, drinking it in as if it were an elixir you've been longing for since you were 13 years old. Here are some corollaries: You don't have to live up to anyone's expectations. There's no need to strive for a kind of perfection that's not very interesting to you. You don't have to believe in ideas that make you sad or tormented, and you don't have to feel emotions that others try to manipulate you into feeling. In short, you are free to be exactly who you want to be. Celebrate that this Halloween season. Costume yourself as the person you've been hiding.

Um... everyone knows I'm a horny hedonist...


(Bitch, Please)

October 9th, 2008


11:03 pm - Monkey Torture

This is what happens when shibakiei doesn't come to astrology class. The horror!

I believe the monkey is still alive... but who knows for how much longer? Oh, the humanity!


Current Location: 21740
Current Mood: [mood icon] amused

(4 bitches. | Bitch, Please)

October 1st, 2008


05:10 pm - Horror-Scope du jour

Jonathan Cainer sez... Our enemies are often the people who were once our friends. And even our closest companions can be perceived as our potential enemies in waiting. Certainly, if we treat them badly enough, they will be in the best position to retaliate. But the cosmic message for you now is best summed up by a quote from Oscar Wilde: 'Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.' Keep someone on side now... and you'll get more benefit from the relationship than if you allow a conflict to escalate.

I say... Okay. I really can't think of any conflicts that were in danger of escalating, at least on my side. One never knows, of course, what might be going on elsewhere. But for me, nada. Not only is it easier to get along with people, but also, fate takes care of any revenge I might have in mind. Not worth the hassle to escalate much of anything.

Rob Brezsny sez... Taurus actor Pierce Brosnan told Parade, magazine how shocking it was to get fired after playing the role of James Bond for four films. But after the initial pain he felt from being rejected, he eventually got to the point where he could say, "I'm free now. I can do anything I want." What helped him recover was conjuring up the proper attitude. "You've got to be a fighting rooster," he said. That's half of my prescription for you in the coming week, Taurus. Be a charismatic warrior as you push to further your highest ideals and brightest desires. Be a stylishly fierce liberator in charge of designing your own freedom. Be a fighting rooster with the heart of an artist.

I say... WTF?


Current Location: 20852
Current Mood: [mood icon] curious

(Bitch, Please)

September 24th, 2008


01:43 pm - Jonathan Cainer, you're kind of a dick.

Wednesday, 24th September 2008

TAURUS
This is going to sound odd, coming from me... but are you sure you really want to know what the future holds? I'm not suggesting it contains anything you won't like - or won't easily cope with - but might it spoil the surprise? Or could it be that right now, you have an idea about how things need to alter based on what you currently understand. Once a few factors change, though, some very different needs will arise. They will be met... but you don't yet know what they are. Trust and don't worry today.


(Bitch, Please)

September 18th, 2008


09:43 am - Introduction to Astrology!

The William Blake Lodge of the O.T.O. is presenting an Introduction to Astrology series, starting 7:30pm tonight at the Crystal Fox.

Pay at the door: $15 per class or $90 for the full 7 session series.

    Syllabus: Class 1: Thursday, September 18, 2008
    Class 1 covers an overview, the sidereal vs. tropical zodiac, the precession of the equinoxes, the zodiac signs, the symbols of astrology, chart wheels and tools.

    Class 2: Thursday, September 25, 2008
    Class 2 covers styles of chart wheel, masculine and feminine signs, the triplicities, the quadruplicities, defining personal aspects of the one's sun, moon and rising sign, and a quick look at your chart.

    Class 3: Thursday, October 2, 2008
    Class 3 covers the astrological attributions of the planets and the 12 houses of the zodiac *plus* what do we do with Pluto now? Bring your natal chart.

    Class 4: Thursday, October 9, 2008
    Class 4 covers planetary strengths and weaknesses in various signs, the planets functioning in the signs, the planets functioning in the houses, and interpretation.

    Class 5: Thursday, October 16, 2008
    This class covers the angles planets form with each other (the aspects), ranges of planetary influence, planetary pictures (T-squares, grand trines, etc.), and how planets work within the aspects.

    Class 6: Thursday, October 23, 2008
    Class 6 looks at how to put it all together, how to "eyeball" a chart and interpretations.

    Class 7: Thursday, October 30, 2008
    Class 7 covers an overview of intermediate topics open for study, how astrology is used in Tarot, ways to use astrology in your personal magick, and time for questions and answers.


Current Location: 20852
Current Mood: [mood icon] excited

(Bitch, Please)

September 17th, 2008


09:47 am - Horror-Scope

Jonathan Cainer claims: "Peace on Earth. Will it ever come? Will we want it when it does? Soap operas are going to be a bit dull, aren't they? 'Don't forget to tune in next week, folks, to see everyone co-operating in a spirit of respect.... again' And the sports channel? 'The crowd go crazy as the two top teams stop trying to beat each other and unite against the common enemies of intolerance and aggression.' Who would want to watch that? Harmony is not very exciting. But it is very nice. And there's some coming your way soon."

That would be lovely, and would reduce the need for taint-kickings. I am heartily tired of drama llamas.

Today I have:

  • Called and harassed the mortgage company.
  • Left another message for the new sales manager at the Threads hotel.
  • Turned in direct deposit form.
  • Talked to A-1 about the final bill.

Today I should:

  • Make reservations for the Manhattan Dead Dog Party.
  • Remind people to pay for the Roast, kthx.
  • Take the trash out this evening.
  • Look at AMC movie listings.
  • Drink more tea (maybe it will wake me up!)
  • Try not to care about the idiocy of other people.
  • Try to come up with an idea for a new closet.
  • Whatever else I am forgetting.


Current Mood: [mood icon] moody

(Bitch, Please)

August 11th, 2008


03:05 pm - Astrology du Jour

Miscellaneous sources...


For Monday, August 11 - Follow the example of a friend who's started tightening their financial belt. Even if your current money situation is just fine and dandy, it certainly wouldn't do you any harm to put a lock on your wallet for a while. In addition, your friend will appreciate the gesture. It will help make socializing with them a lot easier, too -- if you're both working with the same budget, it will be easier to find something fun that makes everyone feel comfortable and happy.

Follow the example of a friend who's started tightening their financial belt. Save! Your mood is pretty philosophical today, so even high-drama moments won't affect you as deeply. In fact, you may learn quite a bit from your reactions, so take a closer look and see what happens.

Slow and steady doesn't have to win you the race today because you may not be feeling very competitive. Naturally, you want to do what you already promised because it's important for you to be seen as reliable. But it may not be as crucial to beat someone else at what you do. It's not a contest; just do the best you can and leave it at that.


Um, okay. I have no money to save. In fact, the financial situation is rather suck. I'm hoping enough people pay us for Jeffersonia that I can buy the food for the game. I've bought some, and cooked some of that and frozen it, but that was out of pocket. I don't know what high-drama events are going on, and I'd like to keep it that way. Am I supposed to be feeling competitive with someone? So confused!


Current Location: 20852
Current Mood: [mood icon] curious
Current Music: Coworkers gossiping

(4 bitches. | Bitch, Please)

August 7th, 2008


11:37 am - Brezsny is Batshit, part 6495...

Taurus Horoscope for week of August 7, 2008

In my vision of your ideal future, you would spend the next two weeks both way out on the frontier and yet close to home. Paradoxical? Yes, but that's the magic and mystery of the unusual opportunity you have before you. Don't just take my word for it, Taurus: Meditate on how you could wander free on the outskirts of everything you know even as you feel as stable and secure as a monarch in your castle. Be on a far-flung adventure even as you draw deeply from the mother lode. Enjoy the pleasures of unexplored territory as you draw on the power of the familiar.

Gemini Horoscope for week of August 7, 2008

Although the platypus is technically a furry mammal, a new study of its genetic code reveals that it also has some qualities common to birds and reptiles. It lays eggs and has venom like a snake and a bill like a duck. Sounds like it's the perfect creature to serve as your totem in the coming week, Gemini. Life will bring you unexpected mixtures and improbable hybrids. You won't be able to make sense of your experience if you rely on your usual categories. And I think you'll find that the best way to attract good fortune will be to weave together threads of different colors and textures.


Okay then.

I can has new boyfriend now?

Okay, can I see present lovers more often?

Either would be acceptable, kthx.

Don't get me wrong. I <3 Freewill Astrology. I just don't often understand what he's on about without a LOT of thought. I suppose that's the point, but at the moment I'm tired, cranky, achey, and impatient. I want results, dammit!


(2 bitches. | Bitch, Please)

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