Tweets for Monday 11 May 2009. ( Read more... )

Taurus Horoscope for Tuesday, May 12: You're feeling pretty great about how the day is going -- and your good energy keeps you motoring along all the way through it! You can make amazing progress on almost any personal project.

I just broke off romantic relations with someone whom I love dearly. It's a long story and I don't know if I'll ever really want to write about it. Suffice it to say that I am sad, and angry, and relieved, all at the same time.

I've decided to move my journal to Dreamwidth, at least for the time being. I'll crosspost to IJ for a while, which I suppose is fine since I have a lifetime membership there. I was able to import all my entries from LJ and IJ, and my friends lists, so you should be able to opt in on any of my dirty feelthy filters if you did before. I might even pay for my access someday. We shall see!

Crossposted from Dreamwidth.

( chirp. )

Taurus horoscope for Thursday, May 7: Let your passions flare up today -- no matter where you are! It may make for a romantic night or a workday filled with battles, but no matter what happens, you should feel right about it all.

( Two days in twitter and a little commentary. )

TAURUS For the Week of May 4th, 2009 -- If you're looking for love, don't play it safe this weekend. The Moon is moving through the partnership houses of your chart and sexy Venus and Mars in Aries are pushing you to take chances. Stretching your boundaries, at least a little bit, can make the difference between sitting on the sidelines and getting into the game.

General Weekly Love Horoscope
Chatty Mercury's retrograde turn this week can complicate conversations, confuse connections and rattle relationships. What you hear isn't necessarily what you'll get and what you say can be easily misconstrued. Double check dates, times and other details to avoid creating petty problems that could undermine trust and put romance out of the picture.

( Cut for her pleasure. )

In other news, didn't find a new Thoth deck at Border's. A bit grumpy about this.

Once again my horoscope misses the point that I am not a subtle person. I fail at subtlety. It is not a trait that I have. "It's vital that you say what's in your heart right now -- there is far more going on than you can imagine and those closest to you need to hear you as you work it out with them. It's good for everyone!"

Tweets for Tuesday 28 April 2009. ( Surprise! )

You Believe that Love is Mysterious

When you think of love, you think of what could be possible in the future. In love, you see things how they could be. You are wrapped up in your own dreams. If you are in love, you want the whole world to know it. You don't hold back with letting people know. You are somewhat patient in love. You can wait for the right person, but once you have found the right one, you're very impatient.

Your Pizza Says You Are a Food Snob

Your appetite is pretty average. You don't go overboard - but you don't deprive yourself either. You are a very picky pizza eater. Not any pizza will do. You fit in best in the Northeast part of the US. You like food that's traditional and well crafted. You aren't impressed with "gourmet" foods. You are dominant, edgy, and risk taking with your choices. You are fun and imaginative. You should consider traveling to Brazil. The stereotype that best fits you is geek. You're the type most likely to order pizza to avoid leaving your computer.

My horoscope says, "If you're not seeing someone but wish you were, now is the time to say or do something that makes your case as plain as it can be. You may be pleasantly surprised by the final outcome!" I'm like, DUDE. When am I EVER subtle about wanting someone?

Tweets for Monday 27 April 2009. ( Read more... )

Taurus for the Week of Apr 20th, 2009 -- The New Moon in your sign this weekend opens the door to new romantic possibilities. The key is to please yourself first. When you're having fun it makes you even more attractive to others. As long as you're not too selfish about it, your joy becomes a magnet that could make you everyone's favorite person at the party or on the playground.

( Tweets! )

Also learned that "Fantasy Bear" is hilarious when read in a "Japanese Gameshow Host" voice.

Tweets for Thursday 16 April 2009. ( Read more... )

Also, in the I'm not really surprised, considering that my mother puts the "fun" into "dysfunctional" department, my horoscope today says: Expect quite as bit of acting out today -- your family and coworkers are all trying to out-weird each other, it seems! If you can just roll your eyes and let them play, you should find that they settle down soon.

I've been rolling my eyes, because there is little else I can do. It wouldn't surprise me greatly if my mother sold off my grandparents' Chinese furniture just to spite me, but I'm hoping she won't. As Valmont said, numerous times, "It's beyond my control."

Astrology.com says: Someone new in your life is making you rethink quite a bit of your preconceptions -- and you think you like where you're headed! It's time for you to flip the switch and make a big change.

Jonathan Cainer says: According to the atheists, there is no God. They must be right - for, if there were, why would he allow atheists to exist? Unless, of course, God had a secret plan. Populate the world with cynics and disbelievers and we would all find their company so irritating that we would rapidly start seeking spiritual solace. It is a tenuous argument, I know. But then, so too, are many of the explanations now being advanced to support a debatable proposition in your world. Don't engage in a futile battle. Just trust what you feel.

Rob Brezsny says: Among medieval alchemists, there were some who tried to make a fortune by literally converting lead into gold. But the authentic practitioners of the art were interested in a subtler kind of experimentation: ripening and beautifying the shadowy aspects of their own psyches. That explains their motto: "For a tree's branches to reach to heaven, its roots must reach to hell." Among other things, that means you have to dig deep and work hard on redeeming your less flattering qualities in order to earn the right to exalted states of consciousness and spiritual powers. The coming weeks will be an excellent time for you to carry out this alchemy.

As usual, I say, WTF. I don't feel like I am being asked to rethink anything. I don't think I am engaging in any battles, futile or otherwise. I had a yummy dinner last night and I may never eat again, however.

Now, to my "to do" list!

Astrology.com sez: Your friends are waiting for something from you and even if you don't know what's up you still need to perform. It's one of those days when you're at the center of your social circle.

Jonathan Cainer sez: We live in a very sensible world. It is governed by very sensible authorities, upholding very sensible rules. Hence, the credit crunch. The banking crisis. The Madoff scandal. The Stanford mystery. And all the other chaos now unfolding in the realm of the rich, influential and respectable. It has long since been no secret that if you scratch the surface of the establishment, you will find plenty of corruption beneath. Comet Lu Lin, is now exposing an awkward truth in your world. But it is also helping you face an essential fact.

Freewill Astrology sez: I know where actor Sean Penn lives. It's a few miles from where I am right now. An out-of-town friend of mine who's an aspiring screenwriter is pleading with me to drive by Sean's house and hurl a hard copy of her latest script over the high wall that affords him and his family privacy. My friend imagines that Sean will find it, read it excitedly, and call her up to begin negotiating for rights to use it in a future film. I may do what she asks. It's my policy not to discourage people's fantasies about making the connections they need, even if they're far-fetched. In that spirit, Taurus, I urge you to pursue any hunches you might have about forging alliances that could further your dreams.

Um... yeah. I got nothin. Y'all got any clues?

Tweets for Monday 9 February 2009. ( Read more... )

Dear Taurus, Here is your horoscope for Tuesday, February 10: ( Read more... )

Dear Taurus, Here is your horoscope for Tuesday, February 3:
You're not quite yourself today and that could mean that your friends are getting worried. Try to reassure them that it's just a short-lived phase, but if you've got to endure an intervention, so be it.

Er... my tummy is upset from all the crap I ate this weekend. I regret nothing! Nothing, I tell you!

( Cut for Weekend Twittering. )

Someone is trying to get your goat, most likely just for their own amusement -- but there may be other motives as well. Do your best to keep your cool and things should get better pretty soon.

But... I have NO goat! Hell, I don't even have cabana boys. Woe, woe is me!

Today's Taurus horoscope sez: You might be biting off more than you can chew* -- but even knowing that, you might still go for it! You just can't resist the allure of getting more than usual for little to no effort.** Wait and see.***

*Yeah, that would be unusual... NOT.
**WHAT? When will this happen?
***Tell the Gemini cusp girl to wait. Very funny, astrology.com.

Taurus: It's a good time for you to take care of delicate social situations. You may need to try something a bit daring, but your natural diplomacy is perfect for getting people to see the error of their ways.

Taurus for Friday, 9 January: The truth. It has never been very fashionable. People just don't want to hear it. Unfortunately, they think they do. They say they do. They revere it, they look for the truth, they even sing about it. It's just that when they actually encounter it, they don't like it. Fantasies are far more attractive and reassuring. Half-truths are popular too. When watered down and sweetened, lots more people find honesty acceptable. The big question for you, this weekend, is how close to a reality are you prepared to get? There's a Solar eclipse on due on 26th January. Be ready for this life changing astrological alignment.

Taurus April 20 - May 20

For Friday, December 19 -A great bolt of positive energy is coming into your life this morning [yeah, I woke up breathing okay!], and it's going to turn your daily routine from dull and boring to something much more exciting. The patterns of your life are no longer predictable -- they are starting to come together to form a very interesting picture, full of new opportunities that you didn't think would be coming up for a long time. Are you ready to grab that big brass ring? Because you are about to have a great chance to do so today.

[If I grab too hard, I think that nice man might scream like a little girl. And that would be sad.]

Taurus horoscope for Monday, 24 November

Pots love to call kettles black. Cheats love to question the integrity of honest people. Liars accuse others of twisting the truth. Not only do folk project their own faults onto others, but they also develop them in the first place through bad example. Thus, bullies are usually people who were victims of bullying; and abusers, in their past, have been abused. In life, the lines of distinction are not always as clear cut as we might wish them to be. What lesson might a current problem be trying to help you learn? Don't be harsh this week. Be wise.

You don't have to be anything you don't want to be, Taurus. Please read that last sentence again, drinking it in as if it were an elixir you've been longing for since you were 13 years old. Here are some corollaries: You don't have to live up to anyone's expectations. There's no need to strive for a kind of perfection that's not very interesting to you. You don't have to believe in ideas that make you sad or tormented, and you don't have to feel emotions that others try to manipulate you into feeling. In short, you are free to be exactly who you want to be. Celebrate that this Halloween season. Costume yourself as the person you've been hiding.

Um... everyone knows I'm a horny hedonist...